I haven't been posting much for a few weeks. Our daughter, Kelly, graduates from high school next week and as many of you have experienced yourselves, a tropical storm of senior activities has slammed our coast. Kelly has also still been deep in golf tournaments even though she already has her scholarship. She's only going to have about seven weeks of break before reporting to Portland State this summer and her first college tournament, so she needs to stay tournament tough! And finally, I've had a busier than usual travel schedule this year. I'm tired!
But it's a good tired, right? So I'm not complaining. But during this whole thing I've taken a "Mother, may I take a short step back?" attitude. Like many of us I've fallen into the trap of getting up in the morning and charging forward to check stuff off my To-Do list.
I've stepped back from the constant pressure to deliver clever and compelling blog posts. I've stepped back from the Tweet flow, striving to get those all-important RT's…from swapping witty repartees with my Facebook pals…from agonizing over requests to connect on LinkedIn (This has always been confusing to me. Do I accept all Facebook requests because they want to be my "friend," yet carefully choose only people I want to "connect" with?)…from paying attention to all the new, "this is going to be the next Facebook" Empire Avenues, Referral Keys…from wondering if I should jump onto the new dotcom mania bandwagon and buy LNKD…and even from those "OMG, you've GOT to watch this LOL Cat video!" email blasts.
In other words I've stepped back from being completely assimilated into The Borg called social media for a bit to catch my breath and simply observe for a while.
And you know what? I don't miss it. In fact, the stress I do feel by NOT participating in social media is noticeably less than the stress I felt when I WAS participating. It's probably akin to the withdrawals addicts feel when pulling back from substance abuse. I would even bet it's exactly like that.
Don't get me wrong, though. I think social media is powerful and can play an important role in all our lives and, yes, even for businesses.
But we need to learn how to keep this in perspective and we need to recognize the strengths and weaknesses of social media. Despite what the SM pundits say, social media and social media marketing are not the be-all, end-all communication tools they're making them out to be.
First, for people, let's understand some simple stuff. I don't care what you ate for breakfast this morning. I don't care that you're picking up your cleaning. And I will immediately unfollow you when you DM me with this message: "It pays you to refer people to this social network http://tiny.ly/uranidiot."
Second, for businesses. What is wrong with you? Do you own a hammer and see every new communication tool as a nail? Social media is NOT a broadcast advertising medium. It's social, which means building relationships, not transactions. Duh.
I'll be reactivating into social media, although it's a lot like trying to get on a moving merry-go-round. I'm going to try to keep it in balance this time, though. I don't want to get stressed out again keeping up, following, and connecting. And I'm sure many of you have found ways to handle this Frankenstein monster, so I'd be interested in hearing what you've done. Do me a favor and fill out a Comment below. And what other thoughts do you have about social media – both the good stuff and bad stuff? I'm interested.
BTW, my next post is going to be about a new ebook/manifesto I'm putting together. It's tentatively titled, The OLD Rules of Marketing: 13 Strategies You Still Need To Pay Attention To. It's going to start off as a follow-up to my last rant on Banner Bank and why I stand by what I wrote.
I was wondering where you’d disappeared to, Steve. Seriously, this is an important post on checks and balances in the frenzied and yet-to-be-fully-understood world of social media marketing.
Thanks for your candor. There is a natural pendulum swing coming but for now you have given voice to the thoughts of millions who need a breather from the pressure to pay unrelenting attention to SM platforms.
While I respect the fact that many do not like to hear about my meals or dry cleaning pickup, I personally love to hear about the ordinary.
Everyone uses Twitter for different reasons. As a work at home Mom of 4 kids, Twitter is my office water cooler. I discussed my meals or dry cleaning with co-workers when I was in an office and now I sometimes discuss the mundane on Twitter.
I agree that a balance is important as with anything. But for many, Twitter and Facebook are our only adult form of communication on a daily basis.
The question that was posted on Twitter when I first started using it was , “What are you doing?”
And if businesses want to build a relationship with me, a mom who blogs, they better be online talking about some of that mundane. I don’t always want to hear about how their product will be the answer to my prayers. I want to know what they are eating for lunch!!!
I firmly believe that Twitter does NOT have any hard fast rules or even soft rules. Everyone can get out of it what they want. I hate the posts where we are told what we should or shouldn’t be doing on Twitter. If someone doesn’t like what I post, I assume they will unfollow me and that is ok.
And since we are on the subject of balance. That is how I see using Twitter. If all you post about is your food, that’s not going to interest me. If you post about your meal and some about business and ask some questions and give some RT love, that is a more balanced approach.
I agree whole heartedly and thank you for sharing this important fact. I believe people do need to just disconnect themselves from the Borg and get back to living again. There is more to life than email, cell phones, Tweeting, and the whole social media thing. Get out and be social with humans directly instead of via some piece of electronic gadgetry.
For everything that doesn’t kill you, is legal, and doesn’t harm others, moderation is key. I use social media personally very sparingly so as not to be bogged down. I set up my profiles (which take the longest) and then sparingly accept connections, and sparingly post things that I may find interesting to my closest friends, relatives, or acquaintances.
In business, I use social media to connect with our end users and just to make them aware of something new whether it’s a product, web post, something interesting (non-political and non-religious I might add). And again used sparingly. I’d rather use social media to hear what our customers have to say, see how they use our product, or generally be “social”. That’s what it’s all about.
Part of the social marketing frenzy has to do with mainstream media being so in-your-face about it every time you turn on the news (touting how many millions Google or Facebook or whoever is making), and part of it is because it’s so new and everyone feels they have to hurry up and get on board or the train is leaving. I suspect in a couple years things will settle down just like other forms of media. I read just as many in-print magazines as I do online sites, and I listen to radio as much as podcasts, and when I find time, I’ll watch a TV show every now and then as well as check out a YouTube video. Again, all in moderation.
If you keep things in perspective, you won’t be overwhelmed, and if you get overwhelmed, take a step back as you did and “reboot”.
I fell into the Facebook well two years ago and starting posting my birthday greetings on the celebrant’s walls. At the beginning of 2011 I made a promise to myself (it was not a new year’s resolution – I don’t bother with those)that I would actually travel to a store, purchase just the right card, write my wishes, place a stamp (remember those?) on it and MAIL it. So far so good and it feels really good. Even better is I only send birthday cards to my real friends and selective relatives. On Facebook I was sending anybody who had asked to be my “friend” some birthday wishes. I know, I know. This may sound very trivial but this is the first of many steps (maybe we could start a new 12-step program for the Over-Social-Mediaed) that I will be taking to disconnect with the computer and reconnect with life. An interesting question we could all ask ourselves is: when is the last time you made a new friend? Not on Facebook but an honest to goodness new relationship in your life that you and he/she spend time together doing what friends do (sports, dinner, lunch, a drink, movie, shopping, a walk, gardening). Steve, I’ve missed your blogs, emails, etc. And what does that say about ME! I would much rather chat with you in person!
Hi Steve, missed your posts. Took the “Stepback” month ago and thought I would be the only guy who thinks about having a real friendship in the neighbourhood is more important than having 100 followers anywhere on the net. Appreciate your open discussion and looking forward hearing from you just enough to be shure that you`re doing well.
Thanks Steve,
I appreciate your honesty.
Enjoy Kelly’s graduation and celebration with family. When it all said and done…what really matters?
Relationship. You are rich in relationship.
Steve, How do you differentiate how much you want to be involved with Social media for your business. I agree that I don’t need to be notified if someone likes the hat they’re wearing today or not. I know that Dan Kennedy doesn’t personally use social media but is having someone post for him. Do you adjust your social media involvement for the target market you’re going after. Or do you just use it for relationship building?
David L. Sims
Thanks for sharing, Steve. Just yesterday our internet provider had an outage & they were telling customers that they were unsure of how soon the internet would be up & running again. Thankfully the lady on the phone was still in a good mood. I admit that I would’ve like to hear some of the customer’s calls who might have freaked out that they couldn’t get an internet connection till who knows when. 🙂
Not having the internet connection was annoying at first because I couldn’t check our camp e-mail/facebook messages & respond to people in a timely manner or find information that our camp director requested. Then I started working on other non-computer, non-internet projects & it was actually nice to not have internet responsibilities nagging at me constantly.
The internet & its resources can certainly be helpful if used in moderation. Taking a break from them even for a short time definitely helps us realize that they shouldn’t control our lives as much as we let them. The front cover of the most recent CCCA magazine really makes the point of how much media distracts us from our relationship with God & other people in our lives. (http://tinyurl.com/5w6lxxe) Part of me wishes that life was still simple & without all of the media chaos that has been created. 🙂